So many people have lots of opinions about the movie and the books of 50 Shades of Grey and I plan to give you my take on this popular series of books. If you are under the age of 18 stop reading now…
I have been amazed at the range of views about this idea and the amount of venom thrown out there from everyone. So I would like to address some issues that I feel have been grossly overthought.
#1 The Rape of Anastasia Steel
Now for those that have had a consensual relationship with a partner there must always be trust. When the scene at her apartment happens and everyone cries SHE SAID NO so it must be rape is not exactly true. She said the words, yes. Now would the outcry have been as great or would anyone have even noticed this about 10 years ago? No, because in the heat of the moment, we all get to that point where we could say “no” or “don’t” which is why there are safe words that are outlined between them. At this point in the story she knows what words to use if she needed him to stop. That said, no should mean no. When you decide on what your “word” will be you have to trust that your partner will take that into consideration and stop when you use it.
Before you start saying that I am advocating abuse or teaching that it is okay, let me assure you that it is not okay to have an abusive relationship. My first book is about the very subject of spousal abuse. I have seen it in action many times with friends and worked to help them out of the situations they were involved in. More on this in a later point.
#2 Jose did not attempt to rape Ana. He simply tried to give her a drunken kiss. He didn’t even try to take her clothes off or try to pull her to the bushes to get to second or third base. Good grief! We have all had a crush on someone that we wanted to like us back and it didn’t happen. Give the poor guy a break.
#3 Christian and his controlling nature have been the subject of much controversy.
A: Only recently have the terms stalker been used and taken seriously. If the world continues to move in this direction, where anytime someone does a background check or tries to find out more about someone they would like to date, they are automatically taken for a stalker, we will have far fewer relationships. Really can you tell me that no one has ever looked up a new friend on Facebook or Twitter to see who and what they are about? Come on people, we also know that the rich and powerful can do just about any kind phone or address searches whenever they want.
B: His controlling issues…these come from his childhood. There are many people in the world that do not like to lose control of their situation because something happened in the past where they were unable to control things and bad things happened. We know that Christian was the child of an addict and had been abused before the age of four. Really all people have issues that they need to overcome and compensate for things in our pasts some are more serious than others. I am not advocating that you get in a relationship with someone that has issues just so that you can change them or help them work through it. We can’t help who we fall in love with and you just have to take them for who they are on the inside. Does that mean you should stay in an abusive relationship so that you can help them? NO!!! Don’t go looking for bad boys to fix up. Does that mean that you could find out several months into a relationship that he is deathly scared of fires and reacts to that from a past problem so you should leave him? Again, NO. You will not know everything about someone when you first get with them. Christian was very upfront about what he enjoyed and who he was. Ana could have been months or years into the relationship before the playroom had come up and then she would have been too vested to want to leave.
#4 They have sex all the time. Seriously, why is that a problem? When a relationship is new, the sex is hot and heavy. She was a virgin and she won the lottery to find an experienced guy that was willing to give her pleasure on the first time out. Lots of discovery time is needed once you get started. I mean have we ever heard of a romance where the guy was like, “Oh wait I think we should only have sex once a day”. Not really. This is what most people call the honeymoon phase.
#5 The Red Room of Pain. This is what made this series so completely popular. Most of America is familiar with vanilla sex. Do you realize that some married women don’t even know what the orgasm feels like? Ladies have heard about it and some think that they have had one, but there are quite a few women out that have never experienced this. (There are many that have as well, only you would know right?) So the idea of a BDSM relationship is very foreign to most people. For this book to walk you through a submissive’s contract was like saying let me show you the secret CIA headquarters and how we work, people were fascinated. The idea that this was talked about so freely was intriguing to those outside of the lifestyle. Let me clarify for those that are wondering how I would know anything about this issue, I am not in this lifestyle, but I know some that do live it and have research it because I was curious. While I have more of a dominate personality; I could never see myself as a submissive. There are people that enjoy having all of their decision made for them. Don’t knock something until you have tried it.
#5 Writing and Grammar. Yes, this book could have been edited better and was not the most smooth flowing story. I made it through all three books and tilted my head a few times at the wording, but I was still able to complete the story and understand what the author was trying to say.
So this is my own personal opinion and whether or not you agree that is perfectly okay with me. Side note, this set of books was only about a six out of ten as far as the steaminess is concerned. If you would like a set of books that will knock your socks off let me know and I will hook you up with their titles.