I have come across several people over the years that thought having a career while having a family was horrible. Why couldn’t I stay home and take care of my children? Why would I as a college educated adult not want to use all of my capabilities to find out the best way to change a diaper?
I had been a semi- nanny for several families during high school and loved children, so I was prepared to love and enjoy my babies as our family grew. What I didn’t understand was the answer to the question, why couldn’t I have a career and raise my children too?
I could do both, yet I’ll admit it has been a struggle. There are some days when nothing goes right, you are late to everything or you wind up wearing jeans and a t-shirt to church because that is what is clean and fits. I married a man that has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. OCD is not fun when you have children. They make messes, re-organize things and generally make you wonder where you left your sanity much less put things in the exact place that you left it. He has gotten better about being OCD and I have learned to lean closer to his way of organizing things. Teamwork helps when you want the best for everyone.
We worked it out, swapping shifts for work so that our baby was only at a sitter’s home for a short time. We live in a small town and most daycares were home kept which made it easier to leave my child in someone else’s care. I had always loved working and was given an opportunity to start selling Avon. I already had a job and was finishing college so adding another thing to my plate seemed crazy. We moved to the town where my classes were so my husband could start school as well. Now we were both full- time students and found out that number two was on the way. This is when my husband asked me, “why I didn’t just sell Avon fulltime?” So I did. I knew that the amount of money that we needed would take a lot of work and most of the time when you start a business it takes up to five years before you start seeing a profit. So I worked around his schedule and found a sitter or daycare that would work with just a few hours a day that were needed.
Baby number two wasn’t terribly difficult and I felt able to juggle until about six months later baby number three was on the way. (Yes, we do know how that happens.) This time not only did I have to keep my business going, but I had two babies and was sick constantly. I was able to maintain my work and were very blessed to find a wonderful in home-sitter who loved my children when I was working and unable to be there for everything. Most would say why not just stay home until they all went to school?
I wasn’t built for that. I love to play with and love my children, but the only time that I was able to have an adult conversation was when I left home to work my business. When they got sick I stayed home or we took turns depending on who had what scheduled. Honestly we were just trying to survive a home with three children under four. They were all clean, fed and loved. While I can’t say that those years were my favorite as some mothers do, I can say that I love my three children. I work so that I can provide for them. They are proud of me and what has been accomplished while they have been growing up.
When I get to go on a trips for my company that I have earned, they do miss me. I love those two or three days when I am able to recharge and relax. Guess what? My children get to enjoy daddy time. They know that I am gone, but they also know that I will be back and sometimes I bring gifts. I come back refreshed and ready to see my children and husband. I have had many times when people thought I was terrible to leave my family for selfish reasons. Heaven forbid that a mother go have fun without her family by her side.
I have given my children the best example of how to become a well rounded woman. I think that I can love them and enjoy what I do for a living while being successful at the same time. Can you say the same?